Have you forgotten about me?
OK, so there was a time when people did read my blog, I promise. But, I went on hiatus to write A’s blog and everyone forgot about me. But it’s almost better because I can write more freely now… not that I have a tone of secrets. I just have a couple.
This past weekend was my 10 year college reunion. I went with Julie, Julia and Chris and without them, I would have been so bored and lonely. What I realized about myself is that I am not really a group person. I get lost in groups. I have a few good friends and I’m good one-on-one and that’s what makes me comfortable. I’m more on the shy side and like it better when people come up to me to talk.
I asked people what they would have done differently – the people who studied said that they wish they would have studied and stressed less and enjoyed the fun things in life and people who didn’t study said that they would have studies more and there were some carefree spirits who said that they would not have changed anything at all. It’s been 10 years but we really haven’t changed too much. We have the same look, demeanor, laugh, personality, flirty-ness or nerdiness. It’s all in the cards.
There was one super hot guy at that reunion – J and J both agreed. His initials are C.R. – total babe! And he was a dad of two girls! Makes my heart melt. One daughter in each arm (buff arms, might I add).
I’d go again. In five years. I should tell Julia to save the date so A and E can dance on stage. =)
My Play by Play
I want to write this down for myself so that I don’t forget… Because these days, I don’t even know what day or time it is. I don’t know how long it’s been since Baby A has been in our lives… I don’t know who I’ve spoken with… I don’t know what the weather is like outside.
My Play by Play.
I had a tax exam scheduled for Wednesday, April 1 from 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 a.m. (I received special treatment because of my pending, or should I say past due date). Ryan drove me to the city and waited around for me to finish. I’m fairly certain I passed~ which means that I will finally receive my L.LM. I thought about attending the graduation ceremony in May, but I’ve been in enough graduations. I know this one will be different because Baby A will be in the pictures and she’ll get to see what was going on in my life when she entered, but it sounds like why too much work than reward. Maybe I’ll dress up in gown and cap and take pictures with her… I think I only have a white college one though…
After the exam, I was totally relaxed. I thought about getting a massage or a foot accu-pressure thing, but I was scared that it might hasten Baby A’s arrival. At this point I was completely resolved on just waiting for Baby A to come whenever she was ready. I think for the past couple weeks, starting Week 38, I felt a lot of pressure to have the baby come out sooner than later, for various reasons. But let me just say (for anyone who is past their due date): There is nothing wrong with a late baby especially if you’ve had a pretty smooth pregnancy. And even at week 42, the baby is not late, it’s normal! And a big baby is a healthy baby and either way it’s going to hurt when he or she comes out! =P
After some email conversations about a possible induction, my doctor went ahead and made an appointment to have me induced Wednesday, 4/1 evening. I told him that was a little too early and asked it to be pushed back to the following week and he agreed. However, that evening at 10:00 p.m. I received a voice message from Sequoia Hospital asking if I would be coming in for the induction. I called them back and told that I would not be coming in after talking to my doctor… but little did I know…
My contractions started around 1 a.m. that very night. I went to bed an hour earlier and was dreaming about eating bagels the next morning. R and I were going to pick up some bagels before his off-site, and I really, really wanted to eat fresh bagels, not the supermarket kind.
Anyhow, when the pain first hit, I was 80% that this was it. They were all right, it feels like menstrual cramps. At first the contractions were 15 minutes apart. The pain was bearable – women do have a higher threshold for pain, but I knew that I didn’t have the stamina or the strength to endure it for x number of hours.
By 4am, I told R that I wanted to go to the hospital, by then the contractions were 5 minutes apart. R called the hospital and told them were we on the way. We arrived in 15 minutes and entered through the emergency room.
R took my in a wheelchair and when I got to the second floor, one of the nurses commented, “You should have walked here, it’s better for labor.” In my head, I said “Screw you. It’s the middle of the night and I didn’t get a wink of sleep.” If that was how this hospital was going to treat me, I was not going to be a happy camper. (Turns out hospital was great and nurses were fantastic).
I was laying around to finish some paperwork and by 7am I was 4 cm dilated and they asked if I wanted the epi now or after the anesthesiologist finished a c-section. I opted for option number 1 ~ who knows when the doc would be done?! I wonder if knowing what I know now (that the epi totally slowed down my contractions and caused the baby some stress), I wonder what I would do… maybe take it after??
The epi was the WORSE part by part. I felt every needle that the doc punctured me with. Apparently, the numbing thing didn’t work on me. She also wasn’t the most comforting doctor. She said that she couldn’t find the space between the bones… boo. When I got home, I counted 13 holes in my back. I’ve never shed such big tears or shook so violently in my life!
So the epi slowed down my contraction and the baby’s heart rate was too flat, the nurses and doctors would have like to see more up and downs in her heart rate. So as a remedy, they had my on an IV. Luckily, this strategy worked. But as for the slowed contractions, the doctor came bavk at 10:30am to pop my water. If this didn’t get my contractions going faster, he said he would have to inject some pitocin by 3pm.
With the epi and IV, I was able to finally get some sleep.
By 1:30pm, I had progressed to 6 cm and and the contractions were regular so no pitocin.
By 3pm, I was 8 cm dilated and the epi was running out! The pain came on gradually, but I just assumed that the rectal pain and the urge to push was supposed to be felt, so I let it slide, but soon the pain was way too strong. It was definitely pain, not just pressure. It took some time to locate the anesthesiologist, but she came and by 4 something, I was feeling OK.
The problem with the second dosage was that I was close to being fully dilated and needed to start pushing, but I was feeling nothing in my legs. By 4:30, the doctor told the nurse to start my pushing, so we tried, but I really couldn’t feel anything… so I didn’t know how to push.
But 5:30ish, my doctor came to the rescue and did two thing: 1) insert an IV into the belly because the baby’s heart rate was too steady again and 2) get me off the epi so I could feel my legs and my contractions. The pushing part was no easy, but knowing that there was progress (they could see black hair!), I was hopeful and this gave me more strength to continue. I pushed her head out, then pushed more for her shoulders. Then Baby A came! They tossed her on my chest, but by this time, I was so tired and exhausted I didn’t know what to do with her. I didn’t want to drop her or anything. But they took her away to clean her because here was some meconium in the placenta.
I was then injected with pitocin to get the placenta out. My doctor rubbed my tummy (and it hurt!), but I knew that it was necessary.
My nurse, Michelle McKinney was the best nurse on the universe.
They moved me the the c-section room, which I was NOT happy about because it’s so small and I could hardly move about, especially with my IV.
It was official, I was a mom.
Mommy = Klutz
It’s official, I am a klutz . I have a big bruise on my knee from goodness knows what. An iron feel on my shoulder the other day, leaving that area deeply sore. I rammed my foot into the TV stand and it hurts to walk. I hit my back on the faucet while in the shower and it looks like someone branded me. All this in a span of a week. I guess I should be thankful it’s not something more horrible.
Sunday Morning Thoughts
It’s 9AM and baby and daddy are sleeping.
1) It’s official, Ryan has a new nickname, Daddy.
2) I always thought that when I had a family, I would live in a small house and it would be OK. My parents started off in a small apartment, then a small house, then a medium house and it’s the progression that I remember. I have fond memories of sharing a bed with my sister and goofing off before bed. And I also remember when my dad told us that he bought us a new house. The new house would have stairs and we were psyched! That’s what I want for my kids.
3) I always wondered why and how people would eat ice cream straight out of the carton. Now I understand.
4) I have stroller envy. (Please tell me what you like and don’t like about your stroller, I’m ready to spend some $$).
5) If I won the lottery, would I work? That’s how I gauge whether or not I want to work or spend time with my daughter. My answer: No. But maybe in a ten years or so when my kid start going to school I’ll start my own practice and work part-time.
6) I like comfort. I like comfortable shoes and comfortable clothes. I like low maintenance haircuts.
7) I wanted brace and glasses and split ends when I was younger. But when I got them, I didn’t like them so much.
8) This list-making thing was inspired by Conrad’s 10 random thoughts.
9) I’m not a comedy person. I don’t know names of comedians and stuff. Who is Dane Cook?
10) My favorite reality show is The Bachelorette. I love this season. I really like Jillian~ I like way she dresses and her attitude on life. I feel like I was like that (not the good dressing part, the part about being open-minded and taking risks and falling in love).
The annoying things…
about being past the due date are:
1) I’m just getting fatter and fatter each day. I’ve easily gained more weight than friends who have delivered at 38 weeks. So I have to work that much harder to get the weight off!
2) Annoying calls from people who don’t really care about my well-being, okay just one person. But really, this girl just wants to know how fat or uncomfortable I am, it’s kinda annoying. It’s none of you guys, I heart you guys. She doesn’t read me, she doesn’t know it exists.
3) Feeling paranoid that Baby A is not doing well in my belly because the placenta may be getting old or the cord may be constricted (especially when I don’t feel anything for a while- but the doctor says just to blast some music and wake her up.)
Otherwise, I’m feeling really good and mobile (thank goodness!). I’ve had a fairly comfortable pregnancy (but that doesn’t mean that it was easy), R should feel really lucky. No cravings, no bed rest, no “scares.” But it’s not over yet… My nurse told me on Monday that her sister had to get an emergency c-section and delivered a stillborn. Sadness.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, if Baby A doesn’t want to come out by Saturday or Sunday, we’re forcing her out. She can’t stay in there forever! Thanks for all your love and support.
Renters for Life?
Because there is a chance that R and I will be staying here, I started looking at real estate in Redwood Shores. Even though it’s technically a part of Redwood City, which is kinda, sorta ghetto in my opinion, most people consider Redwood Shores it’s own little island. It’s clean, quiet and smack in between SF and the South Bay. We don’t have mega-commercial complexes but we can easily drive down to RWC or up to Foster City for our Target, Costco needs and the same goes for finding a Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s. I like the accessibility of walking trails and nature preserves here. I love the trees and the new little library around the corner.
But at the same time, there’s a chance that we might not stay.
Life is easier as renters. There is no commitment, no responsibilities. We can up and leave whenever we want. And even though we’re not “investing” properly, I kinda don’t care. After all these years of wanting to settle down and to buy a place, when push comes to shove, I don’t know if I can pull the trigger. Scared or noncommittal? Probably a little of both.
No sex and no foot massages yet. R is still out with the flu, although he’s doing MUCH, MUCH better. I want my husband back!
There’s an article in the NY Times about the rental market in NY and how it’s gotten a bit more affordable. At one point, R and I paid $4000 a month, plus a $2000 broker fee for our furnished one bedroom in Chelsea. Thank goodness we were in NY temporarily, I don’t think we could have survived any longer than we did… Oh, but I miss NY bagels, with lox and cream.
Ryan is sick
R is totally out with the flu. I hate it when he gets sick because 1) I worry and 2) I feel very alone. At a time when I should be feeling his support the most, emotionally and physically, I feel like I have to do everything myself. I mean, I do almost everything myself anyways, but when he’s sick, it’s a totally different type of everything.
R’s dad is on standby working out of Stockton. He’s coming up this weekend and we made reservations at Alice Waters for Saturday brunch. I’m dying for their Gurweitz, they have a non-alcoholic one.
What do I miss most: sushi, dessert wine, and brie. And my waist.
What will I miss about being preggers: belly kicks, doing a roll dive into bed, being able to sleep anywhere and anytime.
R is having crazy second thoughts about the name for Baby A.
I’m starting to wear flip flops, well R’s flip flops everywhere. Partly because the weather is nice, and partly because I got a pedicure… But mostly because it breaks up my black and black outfit. I wear black and black everywhere and it was OK during the colder months, but it’s not so OK now. My dad will kill me if he knew that I was driving with flip flops.
My dad is totally chill about most things. But when he has an opinion about something, he is TOTALLY strict it’s almost funny. Some rules we live by: no driving with flip flops, always be on time and no dogs in the house, out the house, EVER! My dad is so dead serious about no dogs rule that he told us that he will disinherit us if we got a dog. How silly is he?!? So my sisters and I are thinking… all for one, one for all, if one of us gets one, we’ll each get one so he can’t disown us all. OMG, just thinking about how mad he would be makes me shudder. So, no shiba inus or beagles for us.
Sunday Date — continued
After all that gibberish, what I wanted to say about the Sunday date was…
While we were at the Korean bakery, we decided that Alexis was a good name for Baby A. And what else came up was a name for our second daughter. I know! Weird, for a number of reasons. But if we end up with another daughter, that’s why, we have her name set already.
Sunday Date
R finally had some time off Sunday and after getting over being mad at him over the Costco eggs, we drove down to Mountain View to get some soondubu, which is the equivalent of driving out to LA or Garden Grove from Cerritos. Afterwards, we went to a Korean bakery and had coffee and bread~ I love tapioca bread and love, love gombo bread even more.
Today is a sunny but chilly and windy day~ ugh, not my favorite.
R is 50/50 about going to b-school now. The idea of b-school and MIT appeals to him, but things are improving at his company and he’s questioning whether management is the way to go. Deep down inside, he’s a hard-core geek who loves coding. I think it’ll be so cute if our daughter follows in his footstep ~ imagine, a kick-butt computer geek in pink.
My mom is generally impatient, but she’s really just waiting and waiting for Baby A to come out. R’s mom and dad are pretty anxious to even though they are the chillest parents ever. R’s dad even created an email address for BabyA: alexiscutechoi at yahoo dot com. Everyone is waiting…
L’s friend Joanna’s bday was on the 17th, C’s bday is the 21st, S’ bday is the 26th, J’s baby’s bday is the 20-something-th. There are a lot of March babies and L’s theory is that babies born in March are fun and sociable. I wonder what her theory is for April babies?!? It’s quite possible that both me and Christine could have April babies!
I’ve been look at job sites these past few days. After doing some studying for my PR class and solving some issues with our taxes, I realized that I do like this stuff. Scratch that, I don’t love it, but I like the satisfaction of solving problems and learning how to over come difficult ones – the final destination, though not necessary the frustrating process, makes me feel good and happy. (Now, it is worth it? The frustration during the process – is that worth it?). I really don’t know what our future holds except that there will be a new variable in our lives. And I can’t predict that that will do to us, in terms of planning for our futures. Like everything else, we’ll just have to wait and see. Thank goodness I’m a patient person. =)
I wish I had the educator gene ~ to come up with creative ways to teach people and to be able to explain anything to anyone. I don’t know why I thought of that.
Anyhow, there is a really interesting article in the 2/14 Economist, Beyond Wisteria Lane about the middle class and how they fit into society and how they’ve developed over the years. I first hear of the Maslow’s pyramid, a hierarchy of needs, here: At the bottom, food/shelter, sex/sleep, then “belonging needs” like love, acceptance, affiliation, then “esteem needs” like self-respect, social status, then approval of others, then at the top “self-actualisation needs” (i.e., “a musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself.”). I just thought it was interesting/funny/whatevers, it’s just got me thinking.
R ran 8 miles a couple nights ago.
And his sister ran a marathon on her own, for fun this past weekend. She’s crazy.
